A moment in the life of a Witch and 50 shades of frustration!

11 May 2019 16:39 #1 by Friday
My Outrageous, Comical, Infuriating, Entertaining and Thoroughly Weird Encounter with a Random Caller: A moment in the life of a Witch and 50 shades of frustration!

-Note: this story is not too racy, but does cover adult subjects-

I offer many services to the community such as officiating at ceremonies for Handfastings or teaching herbalism or tarot. My phone number has been published all over the internet, so every week there is a pretty good story that originates from random calls. This week brought an especially disturbing and funny brush with the world of BDSM, Paganism, Mental Health, Feminism, and Sex.

Now you'll note that I have never shared these encounters in the past, as I have been a professional phone counselor for decades. Privacy and discretion are a must. However, so is respect, professionalism, and courtesy.

This particular caller relinquished any claim he may have had to discretion by lying, disrespecting me, and dishonoring Paganism as a whole. He extorted a counseling session under the guise of an inquiry and violated many sacred subjects.

This past Tuesday I was running late and had to run through the chores of tending the goats, chickens, cats, dogs, garden, and a million little things that are involved in rugged rural life on a Pagan Sanctuary. Chores done, I hop in the car and try to relax while listening to the nightmarish news on NPR as I drive into a nearby town. Living next to a National Forest with no WiFi my phone blows up as I enter the town and my messages begin to pour in.

*ping* *ping* *ping* goes the phone
*ding* *ding* *ding* goes the car as the fuel gauge needle points to the red empty line

I swing into the gas station and the phone rings. This is my work AND personal phone so even though the call is from a "Restricted Number" I answer in case it is a recent client who is bidding on one of my websites. Cutting the car's engine, I think I might be able to take a quick call...

Me: "Hello?"

Caller: "Oh Hello, uh I'm calling for someone named Friday whos profile is on Witchvox"

Me: "Yes, this is she"

Caller: *gasp* "Oh wow, I can't believe you answered the phone, it is really you? And you are a witch High Priestess?"

Me, thinking hmmm... possible weirdness alerts fly up in my mind, I never refer to myself as a High Priestess, but for the sake of speed and simplicity I say: "Yes"

Caller: "I'm so surprised you answered, I really didn't think I'd be able to actually get in touch with you. So is Friday your given name or your witch name? Or were you born with it? or ....."

Me, gently interrupting: "excuse me... who is this?" - at this point, the smaller embers of my temper glow with frustration at the rudeness of our society where people now call and demand to know who they are speaking to when they called YOU, but the voice-over professional and counselor in me takes the lead and I continue in a friendly courteous tone.

Caller: "oh, uh, Mark"

Me: "Hi Mark" (to reinforce the correct behavior with praise, LOL, but also seriously doubting the truthfulness of the name provided- I was a telephone psychic for over 20 years ya know.)

Mark: "So may I ask how old you are? Where are you located?" etc. etc. etc. The questions go on without pause.

Me: "What is your interest in calling? Are you looking for a Handfasting officiant?"

Mark: "Uh, well, I was interested in having a teacher or mentor. May I ask what is your tradition or path is? Were you self initiated or are you part of a tradition? Do you have a group... etc. etc. etc."

Me: "In addition to the online classes I've taught for 20+ years on PaganPath.com, I have a local study and exploration group called the North Door that meets once or twice a year. We do field trips and psychic skill-building exercises, dig crystals, go to planetariums, do volunteer work, have campouts, do foraging classes and herb use and identification, etc.. Do you live in Arkansas or nearby?"

Mark: "No, I'm in, uh... Columbus, Ohio. May I ask what your views of deity are?"

Me, okay now we have three [May I ask] counts, the embers are now sparking. Ask the damn question, don't make it a double by asking if you can ask:
"I try to let my students come to their own relationship with deity so I share many views from various Pagan Paths before divulging my own in an attempt to not influence people who may be impressionable or vulnerable when new. I can tell you my background training and emphasis before and during teaching, but before we do any ritual with invocations to deity you will need to already have a relationship with deity and you will already know my views at that point."

Mark: "Well to me the Goddess is everything and the God is simply her consort, not a real deity of the same standing."
he continues with questions without allowing me time to answer for a full ten minutes and then asks, "Have you heard of Z. Budapest?"

Me: "Of course. I began my studies before the internet existed so we (my coveners and myself) used mail-order correspondence courses for our information. We enrolled in the Our Lady of Enchantment and the Church and School of Wicca while spending weeks in the library archives and reading The White Goddess, Time-Life Magic and Mysteries series, found some Alexandrian and Gardnerian material and joined a Dianic Feminist Wiccan circle for Sabbats (outer circle) and we read Grandmother of Time..."

Mark, interrupting: *gasp* "OH! YES! Perfect! Dianic, yes, the power of the woman is the only..... "

He goes on to extol the virtues of the feminine, the Goddess, how impressive my "resume" is (Maybe he's referring to my profile?) all very agreeable...

When he finally takes a breath I tell him: "Hey listen, I'm running late and I would VERY much like to continue this conversation but I have to get to an appointment by 1 pm. Can you call back after 2, or can I call you back? Your number is restricted so if you'd like to just call me back I give you my oath that I will answer so we may continue..."

Mark, cutting me off again: "Um, well, let me ask you, you know how certain Pagan ideologies or traditions cross over into alternative lifestyles"

Me, thinking, uh-oh- here we go, he's looking for a Dominatrix: "of course"

Mark: "well, I'm looking for a teacher/mentor"

Me: "A Dom, got ya"

Mark: "yes! so are you a dom? ... do you take on new subjects? ... etc."

Remember, I am still at the gas pump. At this point the line behind me is getting long and, I have just gone inside to pay... in a small town... in the south... and there is no radio so all the customers can hear his questions

I have to interrupt his flow of questions to which he does not seem to want answers in order to tell the clerk "$10 on 6" and then tell him "I do seriously want to continue our conversation but this is a very bad time and I am running later for an appointment. I will call you back or you can call me back in an hour."

He presses further and I reply "Listen, please, I really do need to go"

Seemingly oblivious to my request, he continues with his barrage of compliments, questions, and obsequiousness.

I dispense the gas and then breaking my own rules, I drive to my appointment through winding forest roads littered with nearly-tame deer, NOT hands-free, while he continues his barrage. At this point, it is out of pure curiosity that I let the situation continue. I really want to understand what this person is getting to, what he needs, what is going on in his mind, how people 'out there' are perceiving Witches, etc.

On my drive, he offers me $360 a week for two thirty minute sessions by phone, $1400 a month. He is still trying to coerce me into this telephone-Dom situation 20 minutes later when I arrive at the house I'm sitting to meet the cable guy. He offers to put money on my PayPal account right now to show his dedication.

Mind you, I live well below abject poverty, have no hot water, and often wonder what I will eat if the coyotes eat my laying hens or the forest critters dig up my garden again, so this is actually just a LITTLE tempting. But not tempting enough.

I tell him this, and I tell him that I would rather trade for teaching and avoid charging any amount in the first place and that the annual dues for my online classes are only about $50 a year, and that IRL classes are free. I want him to understand that there is no amount of money that will change my mind, that it isn't about that. I re-iterate to him that I have need of very little, and when things get truly desperate, something seems to come along at just the right time.

He tries to lay claim to this, saying the Goddess sent him to help at my time of need, that he is the answer.

I made it very clear to him that I will consider it further, but that the whole Dom/Sub thing is not going to happen. I also tell him point-blank that BDSM is not the standard in Paganism, but yes there is overlap, but that it is among intimate groups. I tell him clearly that I am also not a sex worker. I am in a committed monogamous relationship. I do not mix my Pagan teaching with any type of BDSM or sex.

I explain that I fully understand how enticing the images of traditional initiation ceremonies with binding, along with images of skyclad rituals and the great rite - symbolic or not- are and that the energy of sensuality, union, polarity, and sexuality are utilized in many magickal paths. Blood control and circulation may also be used, and are included in certain Gardnerian 8-fold path teachings - to name one, but that these are not introductory things, at least not for legitimate groups.

I try to explain that these are things that may be involved with seriously dedicated groups and partnerships and that they are NOT "standard", they are just a few techniques out of MANY. I reiterate that these are things that are explored and develop over a long time among committed and dedicated groups and partnerships if they are even used at all.

My sparking embers of frustration are now flames of anger. He is being pushy, coercive, dishonest, predatory - all under the guise of honoring and worshiping the feminine.

I am getting pissed as I think about the encounters I have had here in Arkansas over the past 3 years where two new groups have appeared under the guise of Paganism and they seem legit but are holding semi-public rituals that are poorly constructed theatrics ending in the requirement of everyone in the group having sex with the "High Priestess" while the leaders of these groups tell newcomers that this is what normal Wicca, Paganism and Witchcraft is all about. I am thinking to myself, how widespread is this "50 shades of the great rite" bullshit spreading?

He keeps interrupting, trying to convince me. Tells me he is on his knees and worships and respects me as a Goddess. He strokes my ego and I imagine he is stroking more than that.

He tells me to tell him to stay on his knees. I tell him send me an email, that I have to go. (we have now been talking 54 minutes and the cable guy has just arrived).

All this time I am thinking, WTF, this person does not need a dom. I respect legit sex workers and believe they offer seriously needed services. However, this person is clearly looking for the most powerful magickal woman he can find to SUPPRESS, VICTIMIZE, COERCE and DOMINATE. He is a mock sub looking to abuse a dom. No sub tells a dom what to say LOL! In addition, he is barking up the wrong tree-Witch and has reinforced my growing concerns about the cross-over of predatory sexuality in the Craft. The cable guy knocks on the door and I hang up. He did not email me (shitty sub for sure! can't even follow a single instruction LOL).

Remember in the '60s when Witchcraft, Satanism, Hollywood, Drugs, Sex, and Orgies were all mingling together even in the suburbs? Have we headed this direction again after all of our work to establish healthy, solid spiritual and magickal traditions? If this is happening in Arkansas and possibly Ohio, how widespread is this?

Makes a Witch long for the broom closet.
Thank You from these Members:: Lihpkraft

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